All You Need to Know to Find Your College Roommate Soulmate(s) + How to Make it Last


All You Need to Know to Find Your College Roommate Soulmate(s) + How to Make it Last - Taylor A Mead

When I was getting ready to go away to Fordham, one of my biggest fears (among many) was living with someone I didn't know.

Nothing sounded more terrifying to me than sleeping across from a total stranger. But I'm here to tell you, if you're anything like I was, don't worry! You will be ok.

I ended up being so ok that I lived with the same roommate all four years and we became not just friends, but like sisters.

Each year we added more fabulous roommates as we grew into bigger apartments, but we remained inseparable and our additional roomies became like family as well.

Since graduation, nearly everyone who hears that I lived with my roommate for five years (including a year post-college) is shocked,  so I began to realize such roommate success stories are not as common as I thought.

Because of this, a few of my past roomies and I chatted about how exactly we worked together so well. In the end we came up with a list of tips for finding your "roommate soulmate(s)" and maintaining a healthy relationship that lasts.

*Yes, it works a lot like dating. Here are the 5 things we came up with:

1. Pick your own roommate(s) even if you don't know him/her/them very well.


While schools do their best to match up people who they believe are compatible, often times it doesn't work out. That's not to say it never works out, but my suggestion is to not test this theory unless you absolutely have to.

To avoid letting them pick for you, find someone on your own!

Question you're likely asking: How do I pick a roommate if I don't know anyone going to the school with me?

Well, there are a few ways actually!

Option A - Social Media: The beauty of social media these days is that you will likely find multiple roommate options online. And as bizarre as it sounds, the process is very similar to online dating.

I was in several Fordham University Facebook groups where girls in my future class were planning New York City meetups and exchanging contact information!

Through this process I ended up chatting with several prospective roommates (one who even ghosted me), but eventually someone finally seemed like a good fit (she was the lucky gal who got to live with me for 5 years hehe).

Option B - Roomsurf.com: If you can't find any Facebook groups or the ones you're in are just not working, Roomsurf.com is a great site that could help match you with your roommate soulmate (also a lot like a dating site).

Option C - Meet Ups/Orientation: Look into whether or not your college/university has organized meet ups or orientations for new students. At my school, a Fordham meetup was offered to my class in various states on different dates so incoming students could meet other classmates from their area before school began.

Another option for us was orientation. Before the summer was over, we were invited to attend one of two orientations where we could meet and connect with new people.

2. Go in open-minded and be flexible.

Whether you pick your roommate(s) or your school picks for you, you likely won't know everything about them before living together.

Because of this, it's absolutely vital for you to remain open-minded and flexible at all times.

When you live with someone you become roommates with the good, bad, and ugly parts of them.

Remember: none of you are perfect, so if he/she/they have an annoying habit, there's a huge chance you have one they can't stand either.

My advice? If it's not serious nor is it ruining your life, just deal with it. If it's serious or ruining your life, talk about it. (But if it's really really serious or past the point of discussion, skip the rest and tell an RA).

This leads me to my next point...

3. Communicate effectively.

To start, avoid any awkward conversations down the line by being open from day 1 and discussing boundaries, habits, and schedules.

During your time as roommates, whether you become best friends or not, communication will be absolutely necessary. No relationship can be perfect, but it can come close to it with open and calm conversation before things escalate.

*Always remember to discuss these things in person, not via text.

4. Find your own interests and friends.

At the beginning you will likely do nearly everything together.

Eventually though, it's important to branch out on your own. Join different clubs, meet different people, create your own identity, and grow on your own.

In this process you will either find that your relationship becomes stronger and healthier or that you two are not as similar as you once thought - either way, that's ok!

Though some people end up being BFFs with their roommate(s), some don't. As long as you're civil, that's what's key.

5. Champion the sh** out of one another.

At the end of the day, everyone needs support from their peers, especially during a period of growth like the one you'll experience in college.

Be sure to champion your roommate - friends or not - through the good, the bad, and the ugly. Because as I've said, there will be moments of each.

All You Need to Know to Find Your College Roommate Soulmate(s) + How to Make it Last - Taylor A Mead


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28 comments

  1. Great tips! Roommates are a very *interesting* thing in college. My college randomly selected them for us freshman year based on profiles we filled out, but I definitely think you find your tribe once you're there!

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    1. HAHA it's so true! Thankfully I got very lucky with mine, so I thought sharing how we made it work for so long and became best friends out of it would be helpful for those going through the process now! It all works out in the end. Thanks so much for reading, Rachel! I'm glad you enjoyed! xx

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    1. Aw thank you! HAHA, the last one is definitely SO important! Thanks for reading! xx

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  3. awh this is so sweet! i wish i could've used some of these tips before haha

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    1. I wish I did too!! Thankfully I got very lucky and made my way. But hoping these tips will help through those going through the roommate search/worrying stage now! Thanks so much for reading, Sophia! xo

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  4. These are all such great tips! I've been so lucky to live with my best friend a couple of times and other people I was really close with. :)

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    1. YES! That's so great to hear! Living with your BFF makes all the difference! :) Thanks for reading!

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  5. I love these tips! I haven't had roommates in so long but I remember being a freshman in college and wanting to spend time finding the perfect roommate/fit for me :)

    -xo, Azanique | www.lotsofsass.com

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    1. Aw I'm so glad you love them! Thanks so much, Azanique! It's definitely tough to find the perfect roommate and sometimes it comes down to luck, but it's definitely a part of college for which I will always be thankful!

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  6. I had really bad roommates all throughout college. I think part of it is just the luck of the draw!

    Tori

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    1. Oh NO! I'm so sorry to hear it. I think you're definitely right. Sometimes even people who are friends don't end up working out as roommates. I think it's always good to try your luck and pick someone if possible. Thanks so much for reading!

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  7. Love your tips! Finding a decent roommate is tough, but thankfully it isn't like you'll be living with them forever haha.

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    1. Good point! HAHA that's so true. Thank goodness! Thanks a million for reading, Cameron!

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  8. Once I shared my room with a girl that I only saw once. It could end as a complete disaster, however it was the best experience ever!! xx
    www.bonjourchiara.com

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    1. Isn't it so funny how things like that work out? I'm so happy you had such a great experience. It makes a HUGE difference! Thanks so much for reading xx

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  9. Luckily my first year college roommate (the only one I had-- I lived at home the rest of the time) was super cool, although I wish we had gotten closer and did more together then. I wish I could have used some of those tips back then!

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    1. Oh I'm so happy you had such a great roommate your first year! I definitely wish I knew some of these tips back when I was searching - because even though it ended up working out, it was definitely a stressful process! Hoping this helps those going off to college a little! Thanks so much for reading :)

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  10. I have no actual experience with having roommates, but it sounds terrifying haha. In the Netherlands we basically have houses (across the city) where you can rent a room. And every person has teir own room. So I was lucky to have a lot of privacy. We just had to share the kitchen and shower (kitchen with one other person and shower with seven...), and that was enough. It wasn't a very social bunch ;-). Very cool that you ended up with such a good friend!

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    1. Oh that is so cool! So lucky that you were able to have your own room! Thankfully my roommate and I became best friends almost immediately, but it doesn't always work that way! Thanks so much for reading, Johanne!

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  11. These are all such great tips! I've had ups and downs with roommates but the most important tip you outlined is communicate effectively!

    xo Deborah
    Coffee, Prose, and Pretty Clothes

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    1. Aw thank you! I completely agree on the communication! Without it, nothing would EVER work. Especially roommates!

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  12. These are great tips! You're making me miss college even more then I already do!!

    Kristin
    The Blush Blonde

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    1. Thanks so much, Kristin! I miss it SO much every day! When did you graduate?

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  13. What great tips! I attended a local university (thus never had college roommates) but I can only imagine how important it is to find a roommate you get along with.

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    1. Thanks so much for reading! Roommate situations can certainly make or break a college experience if you let it! But there are always ways to make it work with communication and boundaries - even if you're not BFFs. xx

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  14. I'm going to college this Fall, and I feel like I found this just in time! Of course, I've had roommates before, as I went to a residential school, but your tips are still going to be very useful, going to college where I will know no one. Thank you Taylor!

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    1. I'm so happy to hear this is useful for you! :) Good luck in college, you're going to love it! xx

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